Writing Blocks

I must have sat there 4 times looking at my list of blog ideas. I thought they were great at the time. What's making me unsure now? Not sure if you do this, but I talk myself out of things a lot. It's quite easy actually.

I was blocked. When the idea first came, I felt like I could write hours about it. And now, seems like a fleeting thought.

I sit here thinking what I should write next, what readers will think of, if I'll regret any of it. Will anyone care? Do I care that everyone cares? Or do I just need to speak whatever, where ever I'm at and let it just be? Existing in some place and time.

So why are we so friggin' self-critical as human beings? Now I know I'm not the only one. We've done what we've done and we there's always something  more we could have done, it seems.

I tried to stall for as long as I could until I noticed the signs were all pointing to me writing. I made the excuse that my brother was coming over soon and we were going for a hike so there was no point in starting now. Then he calls me saying he'll be another hour. I thought, Damn it! That means I actually have to start. And I'm glad I did because in the midst of not know what to write, distractions pulling me here and there, I also remembered that I took some beautiful photos of my grand-parents' framed photos. I've never been that close to them and I saw things that surprised me. I'll be sharing what those things are in my next blog, along with more photos.

To doing things "perfectly", I say screw it! Just jump in and see where things go. You'll figure it out. Isn't that we're all doing on this planet? Just trying to figure it all out? No one has the right answers. Just ideas, schools of thoughts, guidelines, theories, best practices, imagination and the rest we just plug in ourselves.

I am giving myself permission to be imperfect,
human,
wrong,
scared,
joyful,
uncertain,
powerful,
unapologetic,
unstoppable
and fabulous.


~Chantria

One-Woman Show? How self-indulgent!

Look, just as much as anyone else you ask, I thought "One woman show? How self-indulgent!"

And then...I wrote one.

About three years ago, I began to write my thoughts down. What began as memories and confessions of my growing up turned into a one-woman show called "Someone Between". It took it's first breath on stage as a staged reading as part of Concordia University's Art Matters Festival in 2008. I was pleasantly surprised by the audience's reaction and thought, "maybe there's something to this". The play premiered in full at Le Monument National under the direction of Milena Buziak and it has been invited to present at several institutions and festivals across Montreal, such as Centaur Theatre's Annual Wildside Festival in 2010.

It's been 3 years now that I've put it aside. I guess I needed some space from myself. I've always felt that I would return to it when the impulse came, when the need to speak the story came again. And for one reason or another, the time is now.

This blog is about my journey back into this story I've created years ago. It's being remounted with new direction by Andrea Thring (Actress, Director and Drama Therapist) and will premiere in Toronto in the Fall of 2013. I'll be sharing as openly and honestly as I can during this process as I dive back into rehearsals, fight with my new director and hesitantly share with you some good and some embarrassing behind the scenes photos and videos along the way. I'll lay bare my real moment-to-moment thoughts on this whole crazy journey for you all to mock.

As I do this, I encourage you to engage with me. Comment on the blogs and share them. Let me know what you think. Let's have a conversation. Even better, I encourage you to write your stories down. You just never know what they will transform into. Maybe a book, a blog, a screenplay, a play?

You might also want to check out the trailer I created for the International Colloquium in Montreal.

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Here we go...

Until next time,
Chantria